we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
