imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
