You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
