Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
