You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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