onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
