I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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