nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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