i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
