Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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