waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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