I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
