I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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