it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
