You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
