this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
