Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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