upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
