Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
