We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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