She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
false alarm, still single
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
