So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
do nipples grow back?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize