Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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