So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
