Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
