is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
