My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
