My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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