just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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