So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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