My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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