there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
