so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
