I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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