i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
