My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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