I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize