He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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