dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I forget how to act sober
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
