Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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