Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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