I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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