I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
