Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
