after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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