Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
