And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
