Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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