Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
