Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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