Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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