In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize