i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
