I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
