so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
