so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
