belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
