Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
