if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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