What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
