can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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