it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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