Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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